‘Easy’ is one of the best words in the English dictionary – descriptive, flexible and simple to use, it’s both the question and the answer. Taking candy from a baby? Easy. Hitting the snooze button and arriving late for work? Easily done. Pretend to look interested during a tax seminar? With consummate ease. Downing a pint? Easy. Jordan and Jodie Marsh? Two easy. A piece of cake? Easy as well…apparently.

The reason for these half-witted ramblings, you may ask? Easy – that even compared to these seemingly straightforward acts, buying a property in Dubai is child’s play. So, why are so many ‘buying property abroad’ blogs swamped with entries from folks who find the process overly difficult?

OK, here we go: Buying Property in Dubai for Dummies. First and foremost, are you sure it’s Dubai you want? “It might be a silly question, but where abouts in India exactly is Dubai?” asks Marc from Stoke on one such message board. Well, my friend, head directly south from Stoke and a hang a left at Algeria. Keep going and if a local offers you a balti, you’ve gone too far.

Assuming you’ve not got a note on your hand reminding you to breathe, you know where Dubai is and have decided you want to buy there, what other problems might you face? One blogger calling himself EmeraldJohn shows a tad more intelligence when posting, “I’ve heard that Europeans can only rent in Dubai. Is this true?”

This is a good place to start. The Dubai Property Registration Law was passed in 2006 and means that non-GCC nationals can own property in specified developments on either a ‘freehold’ or a ’99-year leasehold’ status. Settle on which of these developments you like most and decide on your budget (and, yes, MarylandJackie09, Dubai may well be an emerging market but it’s not Baghdad. $10,000 will buy you approximately nothing).

If you require a mortgage – increasingly available in Dubai – or are re-mortgaging your current property to buy, then you should arrange this at the earliest possible opportunity. Property in Dubai is currently moving faster than a sack of squirrels, so when you see your dream piece of real estate, you’ll need to act fast.

Next, you’ll need an agent; they’ll typically charge between 2% and 4% of the sale price or original property price. You’re not officially required to use a lawyer although, unless you’ve the financial nous of Chris Moneymaker or the legal expertise of Johnnie Cochran, it might be sensible to use one anyway. At the very least, they can hold your money to reduce the risk when dispensing it to the seller.

Next, funds in place, it’s time to transfer the rights of ownership.

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